2 Tips To Feel Better When Your Boyfriend Ignores You
I know how it feels awful when your boyfriend ignores you.
Especially if you just reached out to your boyfriend with a text or call and he not only doesn’t answer immediately, he doesn’t respond even an hour or more later.
It comes off as though he’s flat out ignoring you.
And you think, “What should I do?”
Let’s go back.
All is well, and you decide you just want to hear his voice.
For a moment, you think, “Maybe I shouldn’t call him. Maybe I should wait.”
Then you get those thoughts of “But I’m a modern woman—no harm in me calling first.”
So off you go…almost so quickly you can’t stop yourself.
You’re feeling Cosmo magazine bold.
You call him.
A couple of rings and then his voice mail greeting starts.
You leave a message. You try to sound lighthearted.
No callback.
Silence.
Not silence. Death silence.
Do you start beating yourself up in the boxing ring called: WHY DID I THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO CALL HIM?
Since he’s not there, (of course), you box yourself for a few quick rounds of:
…feeling idiot-like,
…with a few upper cuts of “I know better,”
…to finish it off with the knockout punch of “this always happens to me!”
With head hanging low in feelings of embarrassment, shame, and heart-blood oozing, you stumble out of the ring donning the robe of “Whatever. I’m cool. Doesn’t matter.”
Of course, it does matter.
He’s your boyfriend or soon to be the boyfriend, and he’s not answering your call, and he’s ignoring your voice message.
Click here now to get my FREE download that explains what to do in this situation.
You feel the pain when your boyfriend ignores you
When your boyfriend ignores you, you feel the ache of the death silence throughout your entire being.
It feels so very frustrating when you want to make contact with the guy you more than like in person, to get a high off of that connection, and yet he never seems to have the time or the inclination to return your calls or texts.
Or…
Instead of beating yourself up, you start to conjure up and daydream of punishments to teach him a lesson to NEVER IGNORE YOU AGAIN.
And I know you can be creative. Ingrained in you as a young child is “punishment creativity.”
Don’t believe me?
Watch my coaching video where in the middle of the video is a 6-year-old girl who uses her creativity to devise highly inventive ways to punish a guy who doesn’t call his girlfriend back an indicator of our societal conditioning early on…
What if you could instead feel fantastic instead of those moments of desperation and urgency when your boyfriend ignores you? And… maybe bring him closer even if he’s on the other side of town.
Wouldn’t that feel refreshing?
Walk with me to the pool where you are loved…
Society teaches us females the worst strategies for dealing with life, with men, with ourselves.
Anything you’ve done heretofore that felt poopy in the aftermath is simply from you being a good student of life and picking up the junk-ish strategies.
Like calling or texting a guy. Guys don’t like it.
He may tolerate it, making you assume he likes it, but he doesn’t really.
He will distance himself when you pursue him, or, he will use you for a booty call, and then distance. It doesn’t matter what he says. It matters what he does.
Download Now: Bonus Material from the Law of Romance
How were you to know that calling him could have such bad results?? You couldn’t.
Your guy wants you to hang back and just be living your lovely life so that there is this energetic space around you that invites him to come near. That space of being warm yet into your life more than into his life invites him to show up and be a boyfriend and do his boyfriend duties such as call you.
The second you break that space by going towards him with a phone call or text or stop-by, he gets a little afraid and takes a big step to distance himself so that he has space to try to figure out how he can regain his boyfriend duties.
Think of it this way: pretend you live on the 2nd floor of some lovely building and he is walking down your street thinking of coming to see you. He’s trying to decide.
Which is more inviting to him? Your window open and you leaning out the window waving at him and calling out his name, “Billy, up here! It’s me!” or your window open and he can sense that warm, comfy you are in there doing some thing that delights you? Without even seeing you, he will pick up that energy of the second scenario in the Law of Romance and push your doorbell. The first scenario with you flagging him down keeps him walking.
Once you flag him down or call him, even if it seems “every woman is doing the same thing,” you are left covered with poopy-strategy-residue. You feel terrible, wish you could get your boyfriend to stop ignoring you, etc.
Let’s clean off all of that yuck for you and him.
Tip #1: Right now, step into a shower.
“Uh, Christine. I’m at work. You want me to go get in the shower?”
Step into an imaginary shower.
Do this…it’s powerful.
It is a dry shower with sun rays beaming in from above and airy crystals that reflect rainbows of color streaming out of the shower-head.
The crystals don’t make contact with your body, but they magnetize and remove the negative thoughts, impulsive urges to connect with him first, need to control him, need to have the relationship your way on your time table, and need to make him respond.
Let the delicate crystals magnetize and pull out all those yucky strategies I just listed that make your man ignore you and wash them down the drain.
These energy exercises do work. Your mind will disagree, but your mind’s urgencies are part of the problem for you right now.
Those were the default strategies that society handed you.
They never, ever work with a masculine man in romance.
Ta-da.
That’s the distinction. In romance.
Do you know what he’s thinking?
He thinks he is the masculine man and he’ll decide when it’s time to reach out to you, so why is a woman (his girl) taking his job and ringing/texting him?
So you took the crystal shower to remove the yucky go-to strategies.
Now what?
You may feel hopeless like he’ll never reach out to you if you don’t reach out to him.
That’s defective thinking. The opposite is true.
He needs your warm and inviting space that you energetically create around you to feel inspired to pull out his boyfriend ninja moves.
Let’s create that space around you. Keep reading.
Tip #2: Let’s get in the Pool Where You Are Always Loved.
The water is your perfect temperature. It feels loving and liquid and surrounds and caresses every part of you.
There’s no struggle to keep from drowning. It’s a unique pool.
You can move through it like an astronaut in outer space. You are suspended yet you feel the warm liquid all around you.
You feel safe. You feel free. You can float or move without effort.
You can breathe.
Your mind is calm. You have no racing thoughts. Or thoughts of your guy.
You are not waiting for him. See my thought on this topic here.
It feels so good to feel this love caressing you.
A woman with high boyfriend appeal enjoys feeling caressed by love even when her guy isn’t present.
She gets in that pool when she needs to feel love and connect with her feminine self to avoid any buried urge to call the guy.
And if you are near an actual body of water, get near it or in it.
Water has an amazing soothing quality for us when we feel out of love with ourselves and this article may be interesting.
You’re smart. You choose to save yourself from any guaranteed heartbreak.
Because it’s his boyfriend job to call you and your job to create a warm feeling space around you to up your boyfriend appeal. That warm and inviting energy is what he seeks.
The benefit of taking care of you first, is the guy thinks you are instantly intriguing. Tweet this.
And when you are intriguing, the alpha man will come calling.
Your take away here is this: in romance, doing almost nothing but feel the great love in you and around you will create the safe space for him to come close to you. That is having Boyfriend Appeal!
Download Now: Bonus Material from the Law of Romance
How about you? Has your guy done the slow fade after you called him? Comment below.
Please share and comment below…
Loved it Christine!! 🙂 I love your forever love pool … and the trust in it that he WILL call if he is the man for you. Love, Sami
Great newsletter, Christine!!!
XO
Korina
Hi Korina,
Thanks so much!
Hi Sami,
Many thanks and feelin’ glad you like the ‘pool tool.’ Hey, that rhymes.
Thank you I needed this article right now. I am in the current situation of not hearing from the person I am dating and wanting so bad to txt or call. That has never worked in the pass for me and your advice is so true. Planing to stay strong and love me first since I know I will get a txt or call when my partner is ready.
Hi Sade, Gosh, if all women would believe to be true what you said!! It’s great that you paid attention to what did and didn’t work before and to lean back from repeating what doesn’t work! Good for you, Sade. Hugs, Christine
I want to thank you for sharing this article, Christine. I’m currently in this situation right now, to where my boyfriend has been ignoring me for three days. I sent him a text message yesterday, and called twice, which happens to be once a day. At this point, I’m going to use this opportunity to focus on myself, since I shouldn’t have deal with a loss of appetite and sleepless nights. He can contact me whenever he’s ready.
Hi LaTrice,
I’m grateful this information helped and that you see the wisdom of taking care of you.
Best,
Christine
Yes I totally agree with the self nurturing and self preservation. If he is ignoring you and hasn’t called you for 3 days, Then guess what ladies. Wake up and smell the brew!! He is most definitely not that INTO. YOU. NEXT!! ……
It’s soo hard to keep myself from texting or calling him first because I miss him soo much.. but I’m going to be strong and not contact him 1st anymore. .
Hi Lisa,
Yes, that is the best course of action for sure. Instead of putting your energies into him (even mental or emotional), put your energies into YOU! That pays the best dividends.
Hugs,
Christine
I am currently in this situation right now with a man I have been dating, where he wanted “space”. I have done the no contact thing and it is going almost 2 weeks. Except my problem is I still have important items at his house. I have asked him if he wanted me to take my stuff while he wanted his “space” and his comment was NO. How long should I continue the no contact before asking or trying to arrange a time to go get my stuff? I think he is just trying to not hurt my feelings because taking my things is like a final good bye. But I don’t want him to think by taking my things that I have given up on us.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and lately he has been so distant and not returning my calls. I think he is seeing someone else, but i’m not sure and I still have a key to his apartment (he hasn’t asked for it back yet). I’m just really confused right now! What should I do ladies?
Hi Christine : I have been dating someone for 14 years . We lived together but he chose to leave. I had problems with his son. He moved into his mom’s house. We went on a vacation together. 3 weeks ago. After that our dog passed. I decided to get a new dog because I am alone and he didn’t like that. He wanted to pick the dog he wanted but I decided to pick what I wanted. He gets upset for the dumbest things. It’s been 3 weeks I havent heard from him. I call and text and he ignores me. The only text I got was he’s been busy and he would call me tomorrow. I know he’s punishing me because I didn’t listen to him because he was not involved in buying a dog. The dog was my idea. I have texted him saying I am fed up with the silent treatment and I will no longer text or call him. If he needs to talk to me he has to face me. I am still waiting for his response. I will no longer do this to myself. He is feeding off my energy. Please let me know what I should do. Thanks
Breathe. Next week will be different.
Dear Christine thank you so much for this Article I really needed to read strongly encouraging words.. As we all know us women are very emotional and it deeply aches when our love one ignores us completely without explanation. We want to chase which I bomb text him and bomb called him but after 2nd day I had to get a hold of myself and stop. Its been 5 days now and no word yet. But your words of loving myself more and puttung myself first is more important. Im an amazing woman that I need to focus more on loving myslef then chasing love. So when he is ready I hope I wont be to busy becuase I might end up liking it. Im an amazing woman and to me Mr Right shouldnt put someone they love through this.. Thank you again
Hi Nikki,
Thanks for your heartfelt comment. We’ve all been there and lost it over a guy, but you did the wise thing to realize “hey, I have to make this more about me and not about him.”
Many hugs,
Christine
Hey Christine chanced upon ur article loved it will finally get things right in my life and do these exercises , thanks a lot for this beautiful piece of wisdom
Thank you, Kavita.
Hi, I have been dating my guy for 1 yr 3 no. Everything was going good until he got a promotion at work. The new work has stressed him out tremendously. He works a lot more, and announced last Monday that He will be working the 2nd shift which will limit our time together even more. I texted him on Wed night that we needed to talk….as I wanted to discuss working out time to be with each other to support his new schedule. He called me Thursday night asking what I needed to talk about, he was tired and needed some alone time. I said I preferred not to discuss it on the phone. He got upset raising his voice…demanding I talk right then. I said it wasn’t important we could talk later after he took his space. He insistrd I tell him, so I started to tell hijm, he continued to cut me off and assume things that were not true. He hung up and has ignoredme since. Cold treatment. I texted a couple of notes to him a day later, no response still. What should I do now.
Hi Lisa, Guys don’t like to be told what to do. You told him “We need to talk.”
Any of us would have reacted the same way as he did. I encourage you to sign up for this:
https://courses.christinerichhanson.com/p/monthly-email-coaching
It’s one-on-one monthly email coaching with me at the best rate ever. If you want to turn things around with your guy…
HI CHIRSTINE!!! i have been in a relationship for 10mnths. everything was well and good. suddenly my boyfriend tells that he doesnt want me because of his family background that his parents may not accept us.he also tells that he needs me in his life.he makes efforts to talk to me…but also ignores me at the same time….i seriously cannot understand what he actually wants.he pushes me away by lieing that he already has a girlfriend which is totally a lie….he just ignores me ….i really feel lost …im so confused….but i love him a lot…..can u please help me with this
Hi Priyanka,
It sounds like he’s conflicted with meeting his parent’s expectations of him and not disappointing them. UGH. Culturally they are imposing on him. I hope he wakes up that he can’t live his life for them, and may be throwing away your true love. Let’s see if he can work though this.
I happened across this today. Thank you for this great article! I’ve spent the last few days absolutely not contacting him. Well, we work together. I arrived feeling good and happy. Then I saw him and realized that I’m really angry at his behavior. I’m trying to be light and happy, but I’m sure it’s more tinged with anger than I realize. Any suggestions for dealing with the “you’ve been acting like a spoiled middle schooler and I don’t have time for your nonsense” anger when you do see him again?
Hi Rachel,
It sounds like you’re broken up if you’ve been no-contacting him. So you want to know how not to get angry when you see him? Change your thoughts. Don’t focus on him.
Hi Christine,
My boyfriend and I met at his job and we have been inseparable ever since but 2 months ago told me he needed space, as his personal and job life is getting to him, he has no time for nobody as he said it’s not just me his not talking to, it’s everyone. I continued to see him on his lunch break every day but he said I was stressing him out as I only ever spoke about us, so I cut it done to once a week. The last I saw him I cried asking what’s going on I need closure, he told me Do what makes you happy, if you can wait it out then stay if you can’t then go, He than kissed me saying I love you, which he always does.
It’s like he loves me but wants me to leave.
I am in day 6 of the no contact rule nor have I had lunch with him.
Thank you for your loving words of advice
Hi Ebony,
He’s basically broken up without saying it so there’s no “scene” at work. Don’t take his crumbs. Those are my loving words for you. Go love you.