Does Your Mind Go To Punishing Him For Not Calling?
It’s painful and frustrating when the guy you like–maybe your boyfriend–doesn’t call. Maybe he doesn’t ever call because he’s Mr. Text Only or maybe he calls so rarely that you are feeling taken for granted.
In the world of digital communication, you may still long to have your guy call you every once in awhile because, well, it feels more connected. You feel special. You feel thought of.
What is interesting–when he doesn’t call, does your brain go to day dreams of punishing him for it?
I propose that that desire to punish is ingrained in us from an early age making getting over his lack of phone calling a toughie.
Case in point is my video below to prove how even a 6 year old girl, Janet, has punishment ideas when the thought of a boyfriend not calling her. Along for the ride is 4 year old Everest.
Click here for the video.
Pretty good stuff from these kids wouldn’t you say?
The funny relationship advice from this cute young girl may ring true for what you WISH you could do!
And, even though it is funny, your adult version of condemning him for not calling you is not working for you. Or for him. But, that video explains why it’s so dang difficult to just “let it go” that he didn’t make the time to pick up the phone and call you.
Let’s break down this precociously funny kid’s dating advice on what to do when he doesn’t call.
#1 Janet Dating Tip: Call Him
I know in today’s world of “push to be an equal to a guy in the workplace” with equal pay and standing up for your ideas in the conference room, that translates in dating to “why wait for him to call? I’ll call him if he’s not calling me!”
But in the Law of Romance, it is not a good analogy. You have to let him take the initiative.
You feel like you’ll lose everything in one day that has grown between you both when he doesn’t call you at all. You can’t think that. Well, you can think it, but it will add to your misery.
Instead, when your boyfriend doesn’t call you, think “oh he’s busy and he’ll reach out in a couple of days.”
You know how you are when you’re super busy with kids or work and then you get interrupted? Compare that to when you WANT to talk and are relaxed and in the right head space.
It’s the same, and more so for men.
Your guy will double not like you calling. You initiated and you interrupted him. It doesn’t matter how close you think the two of you are either.
So flip that. You know that when he does call you, he’s relaxed and looking forward to connecting!
#2 Janet Dating Tip: Go To His House To See If He’s There
Tell the truth here. You’ve done this.
Even if you lived 20 minutes away, you drive and announce you “just happened to be in the neighborhood” after he answers your knock at his door.
The truth is you were obsessed and feeling bothered by his silence.
Uh, he picks that up.
He thinks you’re controlling his time and space.
You end up feeling more unattended to.
As soon as you feel unattended to, that’s a signal FOR YOU to attend to you.
Go do something productive.
#3 Janet Dating Tip: Go To His Family’s House
How many of you have done this?
Gone to his family’s house, perhaps to secure your position in his life by endearing his family.
*screeching tires braking*
One word: Stop.
Using his family to get to him is a lose-lose-lose trifecta. Mom knows what you’re up to.
#4 Janet Dating Tip: Talk To His Parents To Get Them To Straighten Out Their Son
Okay, don’t laugh, but hundreds of thousands of women have done this.
The underlying thought is: if he’s not cooperating, report him to someone who does have (possible) authority over him: his parents.
Yes, that’s a half-baked thought born out of urgency (that his parents would intervene on your behalf of an adult son), but there are some men controlled by one of their parents, seemingly forever, so it has its merit in the minds of desperate women.
Do you really want a man who you would have to get his parents to remind him to pay attention to you?
#5 Janet Dating Tip: Label Him A “Bad Boy”
Funny kids with funny relationship advice “out of the mouths of babes,” Janet used a term that actually MANY women seek in a man…a bad boy, but that’s not what Janet meant.
She meant: a boy who’s not doing the woman’s bidding…he must be bad.
The thinking goes, he has to be bad or why is he “misbehaving” and not calling?
Men think: “I’ll call when I want to, or when I’m not busy.”
That does not technically make him bad. He just has a life and right now you are not a priority.
Best to ride it out, date others, and see if he has any desire to make you a more frequent contact.
The Bachelor In Paradise 2017 perfectly illustrated this over and over and over. Women questioning what the man’s intentions were with them or another woman or “wanting to talk” about them or initiating things. It never worked. But the women who hung back and let the men come to them (Raven, Emily, Christen) had many more prospects and attention.
I hope you did get a laugh with this video.
As you grow and learn and gain wisdom with men and your own heart, you might as well laugh along the way.
I hope you found this blog article. Sometimes bubble baths, chocolates and talking to girlfriends doesn’t distract you but knowing how your “innocent” efforts could make it worse with your boyfriend is the best way to stop you from calling him.
Share a story below, if you would, about how your calling him or talking to his parents backfired.
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