Have This And Drive Your Man Into Healthy Connection
If you are like I used to be, I’d be in an unhealthy relationship thinking that with enough work (from me) I could get it to be in the arena of healthy relationships, aka me feeling loved.
It never occurred to me then that healthy relationships needed to start with, well, TWO HEALTHY INDIVIDUALS.
And that’s a biggie.
We only realize how healthy we are (or aren’t) with self-awareness that often takes time to develop.
Of course each person thinks they are healthy and that the fault lies with the mate when trouble is happening.
If you just met someone (3 months) and you’re seeing signs of major unhealthy trouble, get out. If you stay, the trouble in the relationship becomes a two-way street. He’s dishing it out and you’re taking it.
However, I often find that two lovebirds have their heart in the right place, but they don’t have a solid education in romance and what a healthy relationship looks like.
A healthy relationship feels loving for both of you, and, when personal issues are triggered, each has the self-awareness to communicate that you need a minute to work through your old pain, so you don’t dump it on your partner to fix.
That is a healthy relationship at its core. And it takes a whole bunch of maturity.
So what is your best quality to have to inspire a healthy relationship?
The healthy relationship component, for you, comes down to being able to heal your own triggered states without expecting him to fix it or do your bidding to make the triggered state go away.
There’s a couple of approaches to be able to do that.
First, check this video out here.
There you have it. You own the key to the success of healthy relationships each day.
It’s about you relaxing into letting life come towards you, observing it and making a decision if you will choose the old way with the outcome that is unhealthy or courageously chart a new course and adventure into a healthier outcome. That creates a self-awareness that serves you well.
Yes, I know how difficult it is in the moment of angst–a trigger–to slow down to choose a wise path.
But being consciously aware serves you and him.
You can create in the relationship a health that he will adhere to as well.
Otherwise you get triggered, and want the pain to go away fast, so lashing out at the person closest to you (your boyfriend) is a societal conditioned response. That leads to declaring that you both are in an unhealthy relationship, when actually it was more the case of not taking care of your own issue.
What is the upside of a healthy relationship and the personal work to achieve it?
A happy relationship. A relationship where he continually deepens his love because there is no blame or attack. He gets to be appreciated without becoming the fall guy. He can grow old with you and adore you. You become inviting to him.
Your guy will take note.
Yes, many triggers will be pushed in a relationship, but if you have this feminine let-life-come-to-you, accept it each minute, observe your feelings, feel them, and be willing to not expect him to solve your baggage issues —healthy relations abound!
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