I came to Christine, as I have other great healers, to find out what tools I can use with men to, somehow, have them stay.
What I encountered, with Christine’s prompting, was a healing with my dad.
But listen to this spiralling-out-of-control events…
My mostly-estranged father, in declining health the past year, recently became ill once again requiring his third hospitalization in 2 months.
But before he went to the hospital, no one could get a hold of him. My mother (his former wife) was the one that was driving to be by his side. I felt angry. With the ease of a rhino, I let her know that his sister or “someone else besides his ex-wife” should be the one running to find out what was going on with him.
My mother said to me, “you only think of yourself.” I promptly hung up. Ten minutes later, I collected myself and I called apologizing to let her know that if she needed anything she could call me. I understood after those 10 minutes that my mother was simply scared.
On the other end, though, I felt the uneasiness. I waited an hour and called again and she claimed that “everything was fine.” Everything was not fine, though.
The next day my sister called me to ask what they had to do because my mother had spent 24 hours with my father watching over him as he was confused, disoriented, and peeing and pooping on himself.
As a doctor, I promptly gave orders to go to a hospital and I texted my sister exactly what to say. In the conversation that followed with my sister, she requested that i accompany my mother to the doctor’s appointment, however I had a work commitment.
My sister then blurted out that our mother does a lot more for me than I do for her. I am not sure if it was the mood that I was in or the fact that we are all fully aware that my father is transitioning, dying, that had me break the pencil I held in my hand as I spoke to her.
I barked many things at her including a list of things that I do for my mom and i hung up on her. Then, I proceeded to text her many more comments that let her know that, essentially, she may be in fact right about my mother, but that she had no idea what she was talking about and she let me know that I didn’t know how to communicate. As a graduate of many communication courses, I again was offended. I cursed at her via text and said other hurtful things. Again, after a few minutes, I texted “I am sorry.”
Something felt totally off that had me arguing with my family.
When I spoke to Christine that night, she simply stated that my entire family was struggling with my father’s transitioning and that often this brings out the worst in people including myself.
We kept hammering away at a point that we had focused on during previous conversations, other people’s comments are “none of my business.” Then, we got to the real task at hand, she requested of me to go practice the biggest tool of all…going to see my father.
I steadfastly refused. I gave all my list of excuses.
Christine encouraged me again, to not only go to see him in the hospital, but to stay in feminine energy and pour out love.
I fought her with every ounce of me, but I promised that I would take it on, but that I didn’t like it.
When I got to the the hospital, the same hospital that I had recently completed my residency at, I knew that this visit was solely to provide my father with love as Christine had suggested the night before.
I was there to give that man as much love as I could regardless of whatever ideas I had about our 13 years of estrangement and then our last 7 years of a slow process of healing.
I walked in and saw a frail old man sleeping. He promptly woke up and was so excited to see me. We kissed and I sat and I listened and listened with love to a man whose voice used to sound like the screeches of wild cats to me.
With feminine patience, I heard him talk about the recent death of his sister and how her memorial services were beautiful. I heard him talk about how his two brothers did not attend.
I suddenly noticed–not once did anything negative come out of his mouth.
I kept telling him about how much I was learning about life (from Christine) and he stated that he too was learning. Gone were the verbose man who always needed to boast about his accomplishments and the judgmental daughter, now listening instead with gratitude.
I left for a few minutes as nurses made their rounds and I requested to speak to ONE of the physicians.
Instead 7 doctors showed up to speak to me outside the room. That’s the power of feminine energy I was suddenly discovering.
Standing in my feminine energy, I let the other doctors tell me what was going on instead of asking in my typical masculine doctor energy. I allowed the space for my own growth as they went to examine my father instead of me standing over their shoulders as I am known to do.
In the end, I left knowing that the divine had happened and that I simply had to let things move forward toward the love and abundance so many of my “coaches” or “healers” had suggested.
I have yet to hear from my sister; it’s been 4 days, but I know now to allow people to go through their own journeys and to simply sit back in my feminine energy.
Love always shows up in the end…and that’s what I’ve learned from Christine’s coaching. The “miracle” was my softening heart in the presence of my father and the love back from him.