Waiting for Mr. Right? For Him to Show Up, You Need Relationship Help
Waiting in general feels frustrating, but we try to pretend that for Mr Right we can tolerate the waiting. Many women will wait for Mr. Right because, well, he’s Mr. Right!
And Mr. Right might not have introduced himself to your life yet. Or, Mr. Right might be your on again off again boyfriend, who disappears–but you think…”know” he’s Mr. Right.
And so there you are. Waiting.
Waiting for the water to boil.
Waiting for the clothes to be done drying.
Waiting for your guy to call.
Waiting for Mr. Right.
Waiting for love.
Waiting is no fun.
Why do we do it?
Because society…”them”…told us waiting for a guy who you think is Mr. Right is normal…worth it.
“They” didn’t have your best interest in mind.
Or perhaps you have put value to waiting because in the past, things you really wanted you had to wait for.
Waiting for the opening of the movie version of your favorite book, or waiting for tickets to go on sale for your favorite music concert, or waiting in line for Splash Mountain at Disney or the latest IPod release.
The New York Times discussed just this phenomenon.
However waiting for the unmet Mr. Right, or your disappearing boyfriend/ex-boyfriend to come to you, has a putting your life on hold until that thing is ready to be in the state that you desire…the water has boiled, the clothes are dry, Mr. Right shows up, energy that will never serve you.
Mr. Right isn’t a rock concert event. He’s a guy—off living his life fully.
A woman struggled with just this subject as she waited for the elusive Mr. Right and her decision to go for a big home or stay stuck in a small apartment here at CNN.com.
The truth is you can find many activities to do and feel good doing, instead of wait.
The tea kettle will whistle, the clothes dryer will beep, the phone will ring, Mr. Right will say I’m here and I want only you for the rest of my life.
Mr. Right is no different than water boiling.
He will get your attention when he is ready.
That’s the key, when he is ready.
Not when you want him to be ready; can’t will water to boil before it’s reached the proper temperature.
See, men, whether you think he’s your Mr. Right or not, are not inspired or turned on by a woman waiting for him. Because waiting takes on one of two characteristics:
- Waiting as in “When is he going to show up?!!!” Guys interpret that waiting as pressure.
- Waiting as in “Wow, she doesn’t really have a life if she’s waiting around for me.” Guys interpret that as desperate.
Either way, your Mr. Right will think that you are Ms. Wrong.
But what you can do instead of wait, is to make sure that you are living your life’s purpose and finding a way to enjoy all that.
Sure it’s understandable that you want a man for a romantic relationship.
You have to be able to enjoy life first without him, because even when you get the man, there will be times he’s away (with good reason) and you can’t just wait for him.
You’ll drive yourself nuts.
There was an interesting health article about the dis-ease one feels when waiting—even on the phone–that can not only feel annoying but creates stress.
I don’t want you to associate stress with romance.
A great guy, a Mr. Right, will want a Miss Right and that means you better be into you first. If you’re into you, he’s into you.
If you drop you to be into him, he views that as recipe for a hook up.
Now if society had not filled your head that you have to put energy into waiting for a guy, you’d be off enjoying your life and letting him come to you.
And that is the Heart Heroine way to do life.
I’m all about you becoming a Heart Heroine…she’s a Goddess who has got it going on.
Your heart-self would never ask you to sit and put your entire being on “wait mode.”
Your heart-self would say break that conditioned urge, go enjoy life, because waiting has never changed anything in the entire world.
Back to the tea kettle…if you sat there, and waited for it to boil, will that act of you waiting change the speed of the water boiling?
You know the answer is no.
You will accept that. You can see you have no power over the water.
The tricky part is not waiting for the guy to want you and be with you.
When you feel longing or desperation or even despair over a guy–that is the time to pull yourself off of that conditioned keep-you-down-in-life response and like ripping a Band Aid off, force yourself to pay attention to you instead of him.
Get out of your head thoughts and into your body and the enjoyment of you and your wonderful life.
The last thing I want a woman to do is be in wait mode over a guy.
You go on with your life activities and find time for play…walks, hikes, new hobby, entertainment, new skill development, etc.
Never wait for a guy. It sends out I am stopping my life for you, I’m needy and hope you’ll pick me energy rays which send a guy running. Tweet this.
Fill your life with what you have to do in life with a big dose of love for yourself because that sends out invisible energy rays to all men that Here’s Ms. Right.
That is a sign of a Heart Heroine. She knows how to rescue her love life and that will attract a Mr. Right.
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