Hi! Do you know that it was not an accident that you found me here?
That’s how I found my coach. In pain, over a boyfriend, I googled for help and up popped the woman who would become my coach.
She’s my coach still!
Out of the thousands of coaches, there she was. I Intuitively knew she was the one. And time has proven my intuition right. I’ve never been happier.
And boy, when I was upset that day, I needed her. I was in tears. Tears like a waterfall going down my red cheeks. Yep, I was mad, upset, and on the verge of heartbreak.
I didn’t know what to expect from a coaching session. Was it going to be like therapy, and we’d talk forever? And ever and ever?
Since she was a coach would she blow a whistle like a sports team coach if I said something wrong?
Would I be truthful with her and tell her my innermost yuck? Would she be judgmental of me?
These are all great questions. Thinking back, I could have thought them, but I was in too much emotional pain to care. I wanted relief, and I got it.
In fact, contacting my coach inspired me to get my certification as a relationship coach. If you have a problem with a relationship (mate, child, parent, friend) I help.
By the end of my call with my coach she put out the emotional fire of I love him so much, why is he ignoring me and acting so distant? and I signed up for more sessions. We did once a week for three months.
The value, insight, and personal growth for me was enormous. I never felt judged or weird or like I had too many issues.
And, my coach saved my butt from making some unhealthy choices. She lead me to a much more loving place and joy.
Even though I was bawling it felt so good, and–I had clarity. I love clarity.
People who are tops in their field–whether business, life, success, etc.–have a coach.
I was a dance coach for many years prior to being a relationship coaching. I understand the athleticism and attitude required to develop a world-class dancer. (And I was blessed to be able to develop world-class dancers several times.) A dancer can’t become world-class without a coach.
In relationship coaching, I see all sides of the story—and I don’t make them do any pirouette turns. <big smile>
No matter who I’m coaching I see the man’s side and the woman’s side. Because of this skill, I have helped a lot of women get married and couples rekindle happiness.
When coaching, my job is to hear what is really being said under the things I’m hearing, so that I can connect the dots and help. I hear things people have never shared with anyone. That is a sacred privilege. I develop a great bond with clients and I like being a teacher. They tell me what a difference our time together meant.
Here’s a true coaching story I just have to share.
One summer I was at work and a mother came through the door and said, “Hi Christine, I want you to help my daughter.”
I assumed she was there for dance so I started asking her age, etc. when the mother cut me off and said, “No, I mean I want you to help her. Like save her.”
Bewildered, I said, “Help as in coach? How did you know I did that?”
Then, just as I found my coach she said, “I was just lead to you.”
The mother explained she had a fifteen year old whom she and her husband had taken to psychotherapists and psychologists in five states.
Her daughter was an extreme case. She had stopped engaging in the world. She had stopped talking in anything other than one-word answers . . . occasionally. She went to school but didn’t do homework or take tests. She was failing. She stopped hygiene altogether. She just sat. That was it.
I told the mother I wasn’t a therapist. I was a coach. She hounded me (in a good way). I kept saying no. She kept saying “Please?” This went on for a week. The mother would drive one hour every day just to ask me.
I started to feel bad about saying no, but I didn’t want to hurt the girl when I wasn’t trained to deal with her issues. But the mother persisted—politely.
I finally said okay.
I met with her daughter. The girl was closed off.
She didn’t want to be there, but there was a crack in her heart that was listening. I sensed it.
Here was the double whammy. She had stopped relating to others and stopped caring about herself. She just didn’t care.
There weren’t any drugs, alcohol or boys involved. The mother said that over thirty professionals had seen her and put her on various sorts of meds.
I was their last chance, the mother said. Her daughter was sinking quickly.
That first session was a lot of me talking but that wasn’t going anywhere, so I stopped talking and shifted to my intuition. Can you imagine? She wouldn’t talk, and here we were in a field where talking was king.
The breakthrough came on session six.
Remember that movie with Robin Williams where all the patients in the psych ward wake up? It was like that. I figured out what was going on with her. It’s too long to go into that here, but in a nutshell, it had to do with choices she made at age one to one-and-a-half. She had learned to withdraw with her isolation in a Russian orphanage. It had resurfaced. The therapists had not dug deep enough.
Her mother said she’d never seen her cry since adopting her at age 1 ½. The girl sat before me and without a sound two tears rolled down her cheek.
That was the breakthrough.
I don’t do this for every client, but I made her an audio tape and had her listen to it at night and in the morning. My hunch was right. By the eighth session, this darling girl started talking again!!
The mother was ecstatic. She cried. I beamed. The mother was right after all, I could help! See, it’s that intuition thing females have!
I met with both mother and daughter, developing strategies to get the girl back into her hygiene, schooling, homework, and friends. I think I only saw her about fifteen sessions max.
I followed up a year later and am thrilled to report that she went from flunking school to the top of her class, president of two school clubs, lots of friends, different activities and the happiest girl ever.
To this day, my most treasured thank-you letter is from this girl. She thanked me for saving her life.
That is why I coach. That is why I like to help. It makes a difference.