How to react to his first date gift!
The ideas for first date gifts from the man may feel awkward to you at the first date! Decades ago, it was the norm. A considerate guy brought you a small gift on the first date. You would be delighted. But times have changed! That first date gift idea of his could ruin his kind intention because it might come off as too much too soon.
Now we live in a time when women are more in masculine energy, and a gift on a first date feels off-putting like something is wrong with him!
However, you can’t roll that way. Not in the Law of Romance. Despite what the first date gift idea was, you need to graciously accept it, because it’s not whether you like the object, it’s that you don’t reject him for his paying attention to you.
Think carefully about that. A year from now, when the newness of the relationship has waned, you will give anything to have a gift from your man just for showing up to be on a date.
A thoughtful guy may think for days in advance of gift ideas to surprise and delight you with on the first date. Give him points for his effort, planning, and selection. That is what men do with their Boyfriend DNA.
Reverse it: can you imagine your dilemma of finding a gift for a first date when you don’t know the guy at all? Of course, I don’t advise you to ever bring a gift to a guy on the first date, or any date, or he will feel awkward and slow fade.
Before I further discuss the things you don’t like on a first date regarding his romantic ideas to get your attention such as a first date gift to woo you,
I want you to take a minute and watch this video here.
Besides being through the roof funny, here are some interesting take-aways.
Notice that the man (okay, a boy—but representative of ALL MEN) is clueless.
Yes, your guy wants to please you and, he has no idea what he’s doing or should do, so he guesses “yes” often.
As a woman, know that. He’s trying to please you.
Many a first date gift has been brought to a woman, and the thought goes immediately in you to what’s wrong instead of “how thoughtful of him.”
“The flowers look like they’ve been sitting out of the water all day.”
“He makes a ton of money, and these flowers came from the grocery store.”
“He got me perfume. What?! That’s too big of a gift, and he doesn’t know what I like. Maybe he’s going to be a stalker boyfriend.”
“Chocolates? It’s not Valentine’s Day. Who brings chocolates on a first date? This is awkward.”
The first date is where first impressions begin. It is better to know that you made such an impression on him, that you activated his Boyfriend Brain before the date just from your communication! He thought, “I’d better step it up and bring a first date gift!”
Now, to have Boyfriend Appeal, you need to step into your feminine energy. You have to know how to accept men…Especially on first dates when he may feel that he’s out on a limb of the rejection tree.
Your energy is to be open, warm and accepting of him.
He Didn’t Bring You Flowers
Now even if you are awesome and the lead-up conversations to the first date were spot on great, he may be a little clueless about bringing a gift, or, he might have thought about it but didn’t want to feel rejection.
If there’s no gift, your attitude should be “no problem” and stay open, warm and appreciative.
He Did Bring You Flowers
I know plenty of women who cringe at getting flowers from a guy…Or any gift on the first date.
You saw in the video how six-year-old Janet lit up over the romantic date idea of receiving flowers and chocolates in a heart shaped box.
If he is super masculine energy, you will most likely get a little mushy and love it. If he’s not so masculine, the first date gift idea of his might feel uncomfortable, but try to be open and see how the rest of the date evolves.
Don’t let flowers (or a box of chocolates as Janet in the video said) be a turn-off or cringe worthy, because every woman I know, down the road with their man WISHES he’d bring her flowers or chocolates from time to time!
A gift is an object.
Your job is to connect not with the object but with the man’s heart who had the intention to bring something to you to make you feel happy.
How about you? Did you ever get a first date gift and cringed only to wish later that you hadn’t?
Please share and comment below…
Boyfriend bought me unexpected flowers on our 5th date…around 8 months he bought me lots of art supplies as a surprise…been dating 14 months and recently he said he felt like buying me something but I said there was no need ti… later that day I bought a winter coat and he asked should he pay for it and i said no, another time he said to pick some flowers but I said no I don’t need flowers… I’m not materialistic and don’t need STUFF although the art supplies were a great gift and lovely surprise. Should I just pretend I need stuff so he can feel good buying it? When we’re out he usually pays but he will sometimes say it’s your turn so I always get money out and sometimes he will let me pay, so I think he wants to look after me but not spoil me…Am I right in thinking that’s how men’s brains work?
Christine Rich Hanson says
Hi Carol! You have a great boyfriend! Yes, he wants to give to you. You receive the gifts. Check to make sure that you’re not being so low maintenance that you are devoid of receiving anything. But maybe you have a different way you like to “get” love. Maybe you like to hear love messages or have him do things for you like wash your car or bike. Let him know what feels good to you.
Thank you for your reply… we are an older cople in our 50s my idea of showing love is by spending time together and sharing our deepest thoughts but his does seem to be materialistic and he always wanting new clothes ECT…. I took him on a short break for his birthday and he said it was the best present anyone had ever given him and no one had ever taken him away before which was really nice for me to hear. I think my refusals of letting him buy me stuff has come across as rejection to him. I guess we’re just not on the same page!