If ever there was a sweetheart of a woman, it was Carrie. She was an on-top-of-it realtor in Arizona who knew how to go the extra mile with her clients.
She was thoughtful.
She’d think of you and your needs and surprise you.
When she contacted me, she was a mess over her boyfriend.
“Boyfriend” seemed a stretch to her on some days since he was in touch with her but not taking her on dates lately.
She was in a lot of pain. Keep-you-up-at-night-staring-at-your-last-text-message-with-him pain.
Thoughtful women, well, yes, they feel the impact of that romance-derailed pain bigtime. They engage the world by delighting others with their thoughtfulness. When their boyfriend isn’t connecting with her in the same way as others who are wowed by her, well it’s agony.
Carrie reached out to me and said that she’d Internet searched and narrowed her relationship or dating coaching choices to a few.
She wanted to know what would be the benefit of working with me.
I asked her, “What was the last interaction you had with your guy when he seemed to back up afterward?”
Carrie quickly said, “I stopped by his work and surprised him with a little gift. He was from Minnesota and said he missed the snow, so I ordered one of those snow globes with the word Minnesota in it! I couldn’t wait to give it to him!!”
I said, “You are so thoughtful Carrie! And if you’d done this for a girlfriend or client, they would have been delighted as usual. But men don’t work that way in the land of romance. He got a little bummed — for several reasons.”
Carrie interrupted, “But he smiled and hugged me and said how cool it was!”
“Of course. Men don’t like confrontation with a woman. And he liked the gift but only about 10%. There was 90% of him that felt he wasn’t stepping up as a boyfriend and he felt too much pressure,” I said.
Carrie argued, “But I wasn’t pressuring him, it was just a thoughtful gift!”
I continued, “I understand your perspective. I know how men think — with a woman, they care about romantically.
In the Law of Romance, guys behave differently and have different needs from their woman once they begin dating her. My work is to get you to understand that so that he always gets to step up and be a great boyfriend to you. And wouldn’t that be wonderful?”
Carrie was still confused how a thoughtful gesture on her part could have such a radical (negative) impact.
She explained that maybe his distancing was because he was busy and had too many things going on.
I suggested we do one of my intuitive coaching calls so that I can check where both of them are on a romantic level. I know that sounds weird when the guy isn’t on the call, but I do it all the time with my clients–and it works.
We scheduled a time. In that call, in only 4 minutes, without Carrie’s guy on the call, I showed her beyond-a-doubt, essential boyfriend-factors she hadn’t realized.
Carrie’s guy needed to adore her with gifts of thoughtfulness. When she reversed the roles, he felt awkward; he thought she might see him as the girl needing a gift; he felt pressure to get her a gift in return; he was so confused by the sudden role reversal he wanted to do what men do in those situations: distance.
Carrie had to stop showing up as the guy taking away his opportunity to act romantically! Carrie was shocked. She had no idea. She thought her consideration would win her points with him.
Now she understood and could turn things around with him right away.
Being so smart, she implemented what she learned right away which was to stop doing the very things that she longed for him to do. By being feminine and not masculine, she helped her guy heal his “wounds” faster.
The next day we did our second 15-minute call.
In this call I got her to remember how her romantic-self was when they first started dating. She was into her life not into the guy’s life because they hadn’t even met. Just being her feminine natural self intrigued her guy (that was her natural Boyfriend Appeal) at the beginning to the point that they each were interested in the other to begin dating.
The beginning is a point of alignment, and it is very powerful. Reminding Carrie of her natural state and helping her drop the urgency she’d recently built up, reset her back to where she was in the beginning so that he could come back to her over and over to align with that.
Boyfriend Appeal. She found hers!
Carrie sent me an email a week later with this, Christine, he actually said to me, “Wow did you go on a vacation or something? You seem so fun to be around! Let’s go out this Saturday to the lake with my friends and dinner for the two of us that night.”
My First Time Coaching Calls worked for Carrie.
I can make it work for you too.
Just give me two 15-minute calls on back-to-back days and I’ll show you how you can have instant clarity on what’s happening at a foundational level and how to return to having fun so he wants to come around.
You’ll get what Carrie got, including…
- The joy of feeling your guy coming back to consistently love you
- Have him behaving romantically
- Feel adored as he begins to woo you
- Rediscover his love and the ease by which to allow that
I promise you will see your relationship in a whole new light after just these two 15-minute calls.
I’m really looking forward to helping you!