Decode His Intentions-He Texted Me, Why Won’t He Ask Me Out?

Dating Tips For Women When Dating A Guy And The Best Way To Respond

Wow. This video below is so fascinating when it comes to dating a man and knowing if the guy is into you.

But not only that, but it also shows how EARLY in your development you can become confused over today’s topic of: “Is he going to ask me out or not.”

In the video, I tell the story of talking to teen girls about the question of what would they do if they got a text from a guy they were interested in that said “Hey. What’s happenin’ this weekend?”

Please watch my video on this topic here.

I enjoy giving dating tips for girls only so they don’t make dreaded mistakes when dating guys.

However, as a relationship coach to adult women, I’ve discovered that you believe the same way as the teen girls!

 

Let’s sort out the maze of men’s meanings during texts.

Thus, if a guy you are interested in dating sends a “What’s happening this weekend?” text, you might do one of two things. 

1) YOU ASSUME HE IS ASKING YOU OUT

That he wants a date that weekend.

That he wants you for his girlfriend.

2) YOU ASSUME HE WANTS YOUR SCHEDULE

That he will ask you out but is checking your schedule first. (And you proceed to respond with the detailed details of your every hour from Friday 6 pm to Sunday 10 pm and then finish off with your slots that you could squeeze him in) and assume that he’ll ask you on a date with the remaining time available.

WHAT HE MEANT

Here’s what he meant with What’s happening this weekend?

Nothing.

It’s the long guy version of “Hi.”

It’s the same thing you can observe when two guys that have met once or twice before, run into each other in public, and exclaim: “Hey Man! What’s up?!” and give each other that pulled in hand clasp with a shoulder lean and a slap on the back.

They don’t expect the other dude to provide them with a laundry list of what is happening in their life.

It’s just a bro-hello.

I know. This revelation hurts. You were hoping that your boyfriend was finally stepping up with asking you out. 

You don’t want a bromance. You want a romance with him.

Your excitement and relief filled in the gaps of an ongoing fairy tale running in your head.

Now, I’m not saying he’s not interested in you!  Not at all.

The truth is you haven’t inspired him (yet) to step up and properly ask you out.

He’s just throwing you chum bait.  He’s letting you know he’s swimming in the deep waters and sees you on the shoreline. He’s got a shark eye on you. *wink*

Maybe, just perhaps, a part of you realizes that truth. You don’t want your possible boyfriend swimming out there. You want him on the shore dating you!

Then you start to ask yourself “why won’t he ask me out?” Or “is he afraid to ask me out?”

Often this leads to a “making excuses” for his not-asking-you-out behavior (he’s shy, he’s damaged, his ex ruined him, his boss makes him work too late, his mom always needs him, etc.) but even with those justifications, you start feeling undesirable.

You want to discover what went wrong and want answers to why doesn’t he ask me out and when will he ask me out? Being a competent female, you feel a swell of take-action rising inside.

If you jump in with texting him your exact schedule (too much information for a guy), your availability for a date that weekend (too pushy/he didn’t ask you out) and hit “send” he will think the following:

• Whoa
• Wait a minute, she’s pushing
• Oh, wait a minute, I think she’s pushing for a hook-up.

Again, you glossed over the fact he didn’t actually ask you out on a date.

But, he texted me.

Yes, he texted you.

But your guy didn’t form the words, “I’d like to invite you on a date.”

Hey, you might even do this with a job interview.

The possible employer says, “Thanks for coming in. We’ll be getting back to those we are interested in.”

If you are HOPING for the job, you just heard by filling in with what you desire, “We want you. We want you badly.”

If you still had your common sense wits about you, you instead heard, “I have a slim-to-none chance of getting this job callback.” And if they do call you in, then you get to be delighted. And surprised. 

Back to the men….

Men do what men want to do. 

Lock and load that.

If a man wants to ask you out, he will say, “Do you want to go out with me Friday at 8?”

There will be no room for confusion.

Every woman I know needs some advice for dating to realize how to perceive texts from a guy.

Therefore, if a man sends a text (which a majority do with these EXACT words), “What’s happening this weekend?” the best thing to do is NOT to send him this:

“Oh, hey, FINALLY you’re acknowledging I’m alive!!! JK.  Ok, Friday I have an eyebrow wax at 5pm, then a quick study thing for a project at 6.  I could work you in around 7:30p but at 9p I have to go to a dinner (unless you want me to cancel??). Saturday a.m. I have hot yoga, then I have to help my sister move (want to help us????!!!!), and I’d say I free up Saturday about 6 pm could shower and be ready to go by 8. Were you thinking dinner? Movie? Other? Let me know. This will be fun!!!!!!” (*string of emojis*)

Do you get why this is TOO MUCH INFORMATION for a man? Do you see how that is too pushy even though you didn’t mean it to be?

What text did you get from your guy that really wasn’t a question and you wished you’d never replied to? Comment below!

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