Dating Tips For Women When Dating A Guy And The Best Way To RespondWow. This video below is so very interesting when it comes to dating a man and knowing if the guy is into you.
But not only that, it also shows how EARLY in your development you can become confused over today’s topic of: “is he going to ask me out or not.”
In the video, I tell the story of talking to teen girls with the question of what would they do if they got a text from a guy they were interested in that said “Hey. What’s happenin’ this weekend?”
After you watch the video, return here for more answers. Please watch my video on this topic here.
I love giving dating tips for girls simply so they don’t make dreaded mistakes when dating guys.
However, as a relationship coach to adult women, I’ve discovered that you believe the same way as the teen girls!
Let’s sort out the maze of men’s meanings during texts…
Thus, if a guy you are interested in dating sends a “What’s happening this weekend?” text, you might do one of two things.
YOU ASSUME HE IS ASKING YOU OUT
That he wants a date that weekend.
That he wants you for his girlfriend.
BUT, he didn’t ask you on a date.
YOU ASSUME HE WANTS YOUR SCHEDULE
That he will ask you out but is checking your schedule first. (And you proceed to respond with the detailed details of your every hour from Friday 6pm to Sunday 10pm and then finish off with your slots that you could squeeze him in).
That once he reads about your schedule he’ll ask you on a date with the remaining time available.
WHAT HE MEANT
Here’s what he meant with What’s happening this weekend?
It’s the long guy version of “Hi.”
It’s the same thing you can observe when two guys that have met once or twice before, run into each other in public, and exclaim: “Hey Man! What’s up?!” and give each other that pulled in hand clasp with a shoulder lean and a slap on the back.
They don’t really expect the other dude to give them a laundry list of what is happening in their life.
It’s just a bro-hello.
I know. This hurts. You were hoping that he was finally stepping up with asking you out.
You don’t want a bromance. You want a romance with him.
Your excitement and relief filled in the gaps of an ongoing fairy tale running in your head.
Now, I’m not saying he’s not interested in you! Not at all.
The truth is you haven’t inspired him (yet) to step up and properly ask you out.
He’s just throwing you chum bait. He’s letting you know he’s swimming in the deep waters and sees you on the shoreline. He’s got a shark eye on you. *wink*
Maybe, just maybe, a part of you realizes that truth. But then you start to ask yourself why won’t he ask me out? Or is he afraid to ask me out?
This confusion often leads to both a “making excuses” for his not-asking-you-out behavior (he’s shy, he’s damaged, etc.) and you start feeling undesirable.
You want to discover what went wrong and want answers why doesn’t he ask me out and with hopeful thinking you daydream about when will he ask me out?
If you jump in with texting him your exact schedule (too much information for a guy), your availability for a date that weekend (too pushy/he didn’t ask you out) and hit “send” he will think the following:
- Wait a minute
- Wait a minute, I think she’s pushing for a hook-up.
Again, he didn’t ask, you might have been hoping that he was wanting a date, so you filled in the blanks that he had actually asked, and glossed over the fact he didn’t.
But, he texted me.
Yes, he texted you.
Dating a guy has to start somewhere, as in an actual invitation.
There are many real stories of friends with benefits dating and then it’s tough to escape that kind of situation for most women.
It’s best not to through common sense out the window at the beginning.
Hey you might even do this with a job interview.
The possible employer says, “Thanks for coming in. This went well. We’ll be getting back to those we are interested in very soon.”
If you are HOPING for the job, you just heard, “We want you. We want you badly.”
If you still had your common sense wits about you, you heard, “I have a slim-to-none chance of getting this job callback.”
Back to the men…
Men do what men want to do.
Lock and load that.
If a man wants to ask you out, he will say, “Do you want to go out with me Friday at 8?”
There will be no room for confusion.
If he wants to marry you, he will say, “Will you marry me?”
If he says, “Someday marriage would be right for me,” he did not propose nor even remotely say that marriage included YOU.
The signs of a guy that likes you are undeniable.
Every woman I know needs some advice for dating to realize how to perceive texts from a guy.
Therefore, if a man sends a text (which a majority do with these EXACT words), “What’s happening this weekend?” the best thing to do is NOT to send him this:
“Oh, hey, FINALLY you’re acknowledging I’m alive!!! JK. Ok, Friday I have an eyebrow wax at 5pm, then a quick study thing for a project at 6. I could work you in around 7:30p but at 9p I have to go to a dinner (unless you want me to cancel??). Saturday a.m. I have hot yoga, then I have to help my sister move (want to help us????!!!!), and I’d say I’d free up Saturday about 6pm could shower and be ready to go by 8. Were you thinking dinner? Movie? Other? Let me know. This will be fun!!!!!!” (*string of emojis*)
Do you get why this is TOO MUCH INFORMATION for a man?
Here’s what to respond, since he didn’t ask a question:
Mmmm. I feel ________.
Fill in the blank with how you feel right then and there and hit send.
If I tried to explain the powerful effect that this has on a man, you’d never believe me.
Experiment. See for yourself.
I love having you feel surprised.
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