Christine Rich Hanson

  • Home
  • About
  • Advice
  • Shop
    • Lure A Man Over to You With This One Magnetizing Move
    • Discover A Commitment-Ready Man… In Under 3 Minutes
    • The Truth About Amazing Kids
    • Make a Payment
  • Coaching
    • Relationship Coaching
    • Make a Payment
  • Contact

BF Doesn’t Introduce You? Relationship Milestone Dating Men

Why Isn’t He Introducing Me To Anyone Like His Family & Friends?

Relationship Milestones: Why He’s Not Introducing You To Friends & Family

You like your guy a lot, and then you start to notice a relationship milestone that pops up in your mind like many women encounter when dating men: Why isn’t he introducing me to those close to him?

Before you panic and start asking your boyfriend why he hasn’t introduced you to anyone, you need some relationship advice before a bigger problem develops.

Somewhere in the history of dating men, a woman decided, certainly without any dating tips, that if her man she’s dating isn’t introducing her to his friends, family, and parents, it meant the worst. It meant that he’s not that into her, he’s not going to commit, he’s using her, he’s up to no good, and she’s wasting her time with him.

The cad.

But it could also mean, in the relationship milestone hurdles, that the lack of introduction to his inner circle is NOT a predictor of a break-up to come. It could simply mean that he is a guy.

Learn WHY he WILL disappear if you want him to introduce you.
Download Now: Bonus Material from the Law of Romance

In the vast land of Signs He Wants A Relationship, is being introduced to his closest entourage an absolute predictor to your future as a couple?

If you scour the Internet there are lots of advocates of just that.

This article says to break up with him immediately if you’ve confronted him about this topic and he doesn’t take action soon.

I’m sure the author had good protective dating advice intentions for women. 

For me, it’s about trusting yourself first and knowing that if your intuition is going off like a five alarm bell, you’ll exit to safety. Or get a relationship coach to hold your hand and drag you out of the fire.

But in the regular fare of life, yes, it’s typical (through societal conditioning) to be cool one day with your boyfriend hunk and then suddenly feel panic that he’s not introducing you or inviting you to family or friends.

 

One minute you were fine and the next minute you weren’t.

I propose that sudden flip-flopping derives from a victim-expectation that you’ve given meaning to which becomes a requirement from you for him to satisfy.

Sort of like at some point there was no Valentine’s Day, and now there is the business-creation Hallmark Cards/Florist/Chocolates Valentine’s Day to prod women to expect love celebration on February 14.  

Your victim-expectation goes: if the bf isn’t bringing the Valentine’s stuff, then-surely-he-doesn’t-love-you.  A great boyfriend won’t bite because to do so he agrees that you are going to be a victim if he doesn’t serve up.

If you are okay with the relationship and then out of the blue, and tied to a societal belief that “he should be doing ____,” that sort of pressure on a guy to accommodate your dating milestones isn’t going to feel fair to him.

Please watch my video on this topic here.

I know the urgency of looking for those social-proof signs he’s in a relationship with you to the detriment of all the great things he is doing right. 

You may yearn for external signs of validation that the relationship is going somewhere besides Breakupville or Nowheresville as though having those signs were signals from the Universe that this relationship was destined for eternity.

I remember a guy I was dating, and I twisted things so that I could meet his children and afterward…nada.  It didn’t change a thing between him and me, and it didn’t end up meaning what I thought my mind had conjured it up to be! We did not progress as a couple.

Let’s go back to that fictitious woman in dating history.

It’s 264 BC of men dating and our protagonist has given great weight to whether her Roman gladiator Brutus is sincere to her as a meaningful wife mate in the first relationship milestone ever.

Amazonia: “Brutus, it cometh to my attention you have deprived me of meeting your gladiator friends. I take this as a sign that you doth have no love for me. Please explaineth yourself.”

Brutus: “Huh? I mean…what sayeth you?”

Amazonia: “You go off with your friends and they don’t knoweth of me, thereforest does this mean I am not of serious consequence in your life to be known to others?”

Brutus: “Amazonia, we are off doing great battles. Most of my gladiator friends die with swords in their lower netherlands. Why bother introducing you to them? What bearing dost that have upon our great love?”

Amazonia: “Well what about your parents? I should meet them so that I can see myself as proper in your eyes. There must be signs you want a relationship.”

Brutus: “My parents are 18 days of riding in a chariot away, and, since the empire is under attack, I must do battle to save me and you which seemeth more important than an excursion to meeteth my parents.”

Amazonia: “But without it you may just be using me like a chamber maid, WHICH I AM NOT!”

Brutus: “You doth protest too much. I must don my armor and leave for work. My chariot awaits for battle.”

There you have it. While your sudden and urgent belief compels you to seek an introduction to all of your guy’s closest folks, it’s easy to dismiss that there is someone else in the mix—him–and his desires!

And he has his opinions and views.

They may differ from yours and are no less valid.

Learn WHY he WILL disappear if you want him to introduce you.
Download Now: Bonus Material from the Law of Romance

No one holds the omnipresent view point of what action now ensures a “perfect” future later.

He may not want to put pressure on the relationship, he may dread the drama of his parents, he may fear that one introduction will result in pressure to make babies, he may not even have value for such introductions as he’s anti-Hallmark corporation of drummed up meaning for particular events, he may– 100 other things– none of which means he doesn’t take you seriously.

What you want is your relationship etched in his heart. There is where it matters most.

Now let’s reverse it, and we may find that if your desire for your external acknowledgment were to happen, it would not at all move you up the relationship milestone ladder as you thought. It’s just an event that comes and goes.

Let’s say it’s 4 – 10 months in and you have that snap, that moment that “he should be introducing me because I’m not his chamber maid, I mean hook-up.”

And lo and behold, he invites you to his brother’s wedding.

You feel in.  Insider in.

This invite to go as your man’s date has to mean something right?

The wedding ceremony, holding his hand, breathing in that he is sending you a signal of future marriage to you. Ahhh.

Him introducing you to EVERYONE ALL AT ONCE on such a BIG day when you are rocking the LBD. There are his parents, his sister, his brother and new wife, all of his relatives, his college friends, his 3rd grade teacher, his orthodontist from high school, even his ex-post college girlfriend who you vaguely thought was only a friend and now you’re finding out they actually dated for a year but oh well you’re with him now, sister!!

You are looking at the wedding reception napkins and trying to decide if your couple initials will be in gold or silver on your wedding day.

Slow forward to two weeks later.

Something has gone wrong. You didn’t see it coming.

As you look at his face and see his lips moving you hear a broken conversation with word shrapnel landing on your ears as your heart feels a death grip only love can bring…

“…thinking…been unsure…not hurt you…understand…your friendship…timing…”

Yeah, whatever.  He just broke up with you.

That is why these relationship milestones mean nothing on a significant spiritual level.

And they don’t mean anything without considering the man. 

You may be his walk-off-into-the-sunset-girl.

Don’t make events more important than the quality of his love and how you feel around him.

It’s far better not to get caught up in our expectational minds with a flip-flop moment that’s bringing fear and urgency. And those moments could be expecting Valentine’s gifts, or it means he doesn’t love you. Or if he doesn’t introduce you to his parents it means you’re not significant to him. Or if he doesn’t let you meet his friend that means he’s having an affair. Or if he doesn’t stop what he’s doing to meet you to do something, you dramatically assure yourself and him he has ruined your day.

In those random flip-flop moments where you’re creating an expectation that has “victim” written all over it, here’s what to do:

  1. Realize it’s all a self-created illusion.
  2. Realize this is just a conditioned moment and dig in to pull out of it. Creating a story of expectation won’t serve you.
  3. You may have, spiritually, created the expectation of healing some deep pain so that you can have more love capacity for yourself.
  4. Feel your judgment and angst over what he’s not doing according to your cute mind and pivot to a better direction.
  5. Do the thing that you always have in your life that brings you joy such as your pet project, your hobby, your thing that satisfies you.

You are okay. You realize that an external socialized marker such as introductions to your bf’s inner circle may not be what society has it cracked up to be. Instead, it’s all about what’s in his heart and your connection to that love.

And, of course, your love for you.

Learn WHY he WILL disappear if you want him to introduce you.
Download Now: Bonus Material from the Law of Romance

I’d love to hear from you below. Have you ever longed for your boyfriend to acknowledge you to others to then have it not feel as you had imagined?

Please share and comment below…

More Dating Advice

  • My Boyfriend Is Ignoring Me – How To Get Him To CallMy Boyfriend Is Ignoring Me – How To Get Him To Call
  • How to Avoid Being Roommates When You Want RomanceHow to Avoid Being Roommates When You Want Romance
  • A Man’s Starter Guide to Get a First DateA Man’s Starter Guide to Get a First Date
  • Panic! Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring YouPanic! Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You

Comments

  1. Alex says

    November 3, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Hi Christine,

    I’m curious to hear your thoughts about this. I started dating this guy right after he broke up with his past bf. We’ve been dating for 4ish months now. It started as a casual thing but we became too intimate so I brought up being exclusive. He said he wasn’t ready for that but that he wanted to continue dating. Initially I agreed but noticed that communication slowed down dramatically, we went from seeing each other ~4 days a week to maybe one, and around his friends he’d always keep me at arms length… so I ended things and explained the reasons why. I made it clear that non exclusivity and lack of communication were not for me.
    We’re back after having a conversation about what each other needs from the relationship and we’re now exclusive. Here’s what throws me off and sends my creative mind spinning into that victim expectation zone that you talk about: around my friends we are like a married couple, around some of his friends we’re very affectionate as well… but around very specific people (always men) he won’t even hold hands. I believe some of these men are friends with his ex – unfortunately our social circles somewhat overlap. Together with that, he’s careful not to post pictures of us where the ex can see them and says that the ex is not yet ready to see that. This sets off my alarms because it makes me think the ex is just an excuse and he’s probably hiding me from other people he might be seeing and doesn’t want them to see us together. It makes me think that we’re not so exclusive after all. At the same time, I’ve proven myself wrong a couple times before at times when I was jealous or suspicious, so I’m having a hard time making a decision. Do I bring this up and say that it bothers me at risk of becoming too needy and smothering? Or do I wait it out to see how things unfold?

    Reply
    • Christine Rich Hanson says

      November 10, 2019 at 4:14 pm

      Hi Alex, People generally don’t act diabolical. So when he doesn’t want his ex to be faced with him moving on, it’s not your guy using his ex as an excuse, it’s that your guy still has feelings for his ex.

      You ended things before for the non exclusivity. He’s not there yet. You get to decide… stay and be an option and see if over time it changes or move on.

      Hugs, Christine

      Reply
  2. Lucy Peterson says

    November 9, 2019 at 1:56 am

    Hi Christine I just came across this website I was looking for answers. So I’m 24 he’s 50 years old and we have been together for 11 months. We are okay with the age difference and we promised each other that we gonna fight every obstacles on our way. I have met his 2 sons but I have never met his family. I’m always excluded when it comes to family gatherings it’s like I don’t exist at all, especially now that his son just got engaged, I feel like he has asked his sons not to tell anyone about me, it makes me feel sad. When I ask him when am I meeting his family he says one day he’s working on it. I feel like he’s ashamed of me. I’m confused he has met my family and my friends but I haven’t me his. It’s really bothering me.

    Reply
    • Christine Rich Hanson says

      November 10, 2019 at 4:34 pm

      Hi Lucy,
      He considers you an option. Get a second bf fast.

      Best, Christine

      Reply
« Older Comments

Leave a Reply to Lil Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Testimonials

Wow!

I called Christine freaked out about my husband and within 5 minutes I felt so calm I couldn’t believe it.

And this was a situation that would have traumatized me easily for 2 months–and Christine vaporized it!

More Dating Advice

  • My Boyfriend Is Ignoring Me – How To Get Him To CallMy Boyfriend Is Ignoring Me – How To Get Him To Call
  • How to Avoid Being Roommates When You Want RomanceHow to Avoid Being Roommates When You Want Romance
  • Sizzle Or Fail? Should You Initiate Contact & Text Boyfriend?Sizzle Or Fail? Should You Initiate Contact & Text…
  • A Man’s Starter Guide to Get a First DateA Man’s Starter Guide to Get a First Date
–Marie Craig , Los Angeles

Popular advice

  • Decode His Intentions-He Texted Me, Why Won’t He Ask Me Out?
  • BF Doesn’t Introduce You? Relationship Milestone Dating Men
  • My Boyfriend Is Ignoring Me – How To Get Him To Call

Privacy   |    Terms Of Use   |    Testimonial Disclaimer   |    Contact

Please also visit my other website Christine Rich Clarity

Copyright © Christine Rich Hanson

Enter your name and email address, and click the button below to get your FREE bonus.
WAIT
BEFORE YOU GO!
Find out the real reason why your guy distances. Learn the easy way to unleash his Boyfriend DNA to get him romantic...
YOUR NAME:
YOUR EMAIL:
____
_____________
____